Ushlo, not Oslo. Pink and yellow bubbles. Lots of Country Idol and Country's Got Talent type show winners. Apples. Power ballads. Hair. Sparkles. Leaves. Piano accordion, fortunately only the one. Fans. No Lordi.
Prudence is incandescent with anticipation for the final.
Moldova: really quite a good song and sensational knee-high boots.
Russia: scarves are popular this year.
Estonia: points for velvet jackets and having the friends arranged in height order.
Slovakia: points for not attempting to sing in English. Not sure about all the leaves.
Finland: good for dancing, in a Zorba-the-Greek way. Points off for the piano accordion. They're no Lordi.
Latvia: those dancing lessons clearly went to waste.
Serbia: Milan should have let someone other than his mum cut his hair. Prudence likes blonds, but not when they're quite so girlie. Scary teeth.
Bosnia and Herzegovina: Serious rock beats and riffs somewhat diminished by the indiscriminate use of the wind and smoke machines. Pity.
Poland: Prudence is bemused by the Snow White look-alikes and their apple antics. And the pseudo-national dress costumes. Points for the Bucks Fizz-esque moment (with blouse instead of skirts) and ability to keep hold of the apple.
Belgium: A bit James Blunt, a bit Ben Lee, a bit John Mayer - is it too early to call a winner?
Malta: appears to be on fire. And not in a good way. Shades of Whitney.
Albania: Prudence loves a disco beat, especially with a Farah Fawcett flick. Gotta be through to the finals.
Greece: Proof that all Greek music is descended from Zorba. Even when it wears army boots and plays with electronica.
Portugal: a power ballad. Time to go and make tea.
FYR Macedonia: Sort of an 80s new romantics start, then into power ballad with accompanying bondage-gymnastics. And some rap. And a glam rock guitar solo. Prudence supposes all categories are covered.
Belarus: sparkles! Well, what can one expect from Belarus Idol winners. There is evidence of a Nick Giannopolous I-do-not-have-a-monobrow wax job. Oooh! Butterflies!
Iceland: a serious contender. But a disappointingly tasteful and elegant outfit from a woman whose second name is Bjork.