Friday, May 28, 2010

Prudence does Eurovision

To summarise:

Ushlo, not Oslo. Pink and yellow bubbles. Lots of Country Idol and Country's Got Talent type show winners. Apples. Power ballads. Hair. Sparkles. Leaves. Piano accordion, fortunately only the one. Fans. No Lordi.

Prudence is incandescent with anticipation for the final.

Moldova: really quite a good song and sensational knee-high boots.

Russia: scarves are popular this year.

Estonia: points for velvet jackets and having the friends arranged in height order.

Slovakia: points for not attempting to sing in English. Not sure about all the leaves.

Finland: good for dancing, in a Zorba-the-Greek way. Points off for the piano accordion. They're no Lordi.

Latvia: those dancing lessons clearly went to waste.

Serbia: Milan should have let someone other than his mum cut his hair. Prudence likes blonds, but not when they're quite so girlie. Scary teeth.

Bosnia and Herzegovina: Serious rock beats and riffs somewhat diminished by the indiscriminate use of the wind and smoke machines. Pity.

Poland: Prudence is bemused by the Snow White look-alikes and their apple antics. And the pseudo-national dress costumes. Points for the Bucks Fizz-esque moment (with blouse instead of skirts) and ability to keep hold of the apple.

Belgium: A bit James Blunt, a bit Ben Lee, a bit John Mayer - is it too early to call a winner?

Malta: appears to be on fire. And not in a good way. Shades of Whitney.

Albania: Prudence loves a disco beat, especially with a Farah Fawcett flick. Gotta be through to the finals.

Greece: Proof that all Greek music is descended from Zorba. Even when it wears army boots and plays with electronica.

Portugal: a power ballad. Time to go and make tea.

FYR Macedonia: Sort of an 80s new romantics start, then into power ballad with accompanying bondage-gymnastics. And some rap. And a glam rock guitar solo. Prudence supposes all categories are covered.

Belarus: sparkles! Well, what can one expect from Belarus Idol winners. There is evidence of a Nick Giannopolous I-do-not-have-a-monobrow wax job. Oooh! Butterflies!

Iceland: a serious contender. But a disappointingly tasteful and elegant outfit from a woman whose second name is Bjork.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Keeping up appearances

Prudence has decided that, as there seems to be no prospect of receiving a large inheritance, she needs a new job.

Thus she has been trawling the various repositories of job ads.

And has discovered one for a Manifesting Clerk.

As what, Prudence wonders, does the clerk manifest? And where?

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Any and all

At what point, Prudence wonders, is it acceptable to openly despise someone?

Speaks with a rising inflective worthy of an Australian soap opera?
Denigrates expert advice as mere opinion?
Displays teeth better befitting a horse?
Displays impenetrable stupidity?
Displays impenetrable hide while inflicting stupidity?
Insists on sentences rendered in passive voice?
Spent quite a deal of former career working closely with Wilson Tuckey?

Prudence is gritting her teeth.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Lie to me

Prudence's alter-ego had to do a getting-to-know you exercise as part of a training day.

It involved telling the others three statements, one of which was a lie.

Hers were:
  • she is deathly afraid of heights,
  • she can crochet like a demon-nana, and
  • she has an alter-ego with a scandalous blog.
Can you pick the lie?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Vintage sensibilities

Prudence likes to think her nana would have approved.

Not only did she make her own evening gown for the very glam wedding, she also had her hair set in a very 1940s style.

The only thing missing was a mink stole and a flick through a 1983 copy of New Idea while under the hair dryer hood.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Jobs for which they were destined

Prudence thinks it most appropriate that a letter from the Law Society should be signed by...

Lili Law.

It follows on from Simon Tidy of the Keep Australia Beautiful Council.

And Linda Byrne of the Fire and Emergency Services Authority.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Perspective

Prudence is dismayed

to hear

she is cynical

when she merely thought

she was right.