Saturday, August 22, 2015

You want what?

Prudence's beloved roasts coffee and dispenses cups of happiness.  Along with witticisms.

He has a particular aversion to repetitive questioning or uncouth requests.

Some unfavourites:
  • Been busy?
  • How long have you been here?
  • Do you really roast your own coffee?
  • Can I have my coffee extra hot?
That last is an insult to the beans, if you were going to ask that of a barista, don't.

Then this:

Customer: Can I have a flat white, please, without the milk?

Pause.

Beloved:  Sorry?

Customer, embarrassed:  A flat white...

Beloved:  ... without the milk?

Pause.

Beloved:  So you want an espresso? 

(technical detail: a flat white is an espresso with milk)

Customer:  Um.

Eventually, they worked that he wanted a long black.

Which is quite a different thing.

One wonders how other, less understanding, baristas have handled such a request.

Friday, July 17, 2015

Overdoing it, rather.

There is a character in one of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy novels who, upon seeing instructions for toothpicks, concludes the world has gone mad.

Prudence, upon finding an instructional video CD with her new compact, concludes the same.

While Prudence does insist upon a flawless complexion, treating clients as imbeciles (said VCD is  accompanied by a leaflet along with an instruction-heavy box) is poor form.

Tsk.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

In the interim

Damnit, one is back.

Since one's last, the household has acquired a dog, a superannuated Italian sheepdog (Maremma) who is lovely and beautiful, if thick and incontinent.  Some mornings are more unpleasant than others.

The neighbours have had a baby.  They seem to think that shouting at it will convince it to be quiet.  The neighbours are on par with the dog's intellectual capacity.  But we've always known that.

 Life goes on.